Your Story is a series by WonderfulWomen where you will read inspiring Guest Posts from women around the world. Here they share their experiences, stories and things that matter most to all women.
Today’s Guest Post is by Cielo Superticioso, from thecancervoice.net. Cielo is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia. She started blogging in August 2017 where the only desire is to share her cancer experiences until she becomes more committed and determined to start a campaign to strengthen the cancer awareness. This campaign aims to make the cancer voice heard in Asia, especially in Vietnam. And so it continues, The Cancer Voice officially launched in 2018, reaching out Vietnamese to strengthen the education of cancer. Read the story of this braveheart’s life to know how she survived her battle against cancer.
I Never Allow My Past Define My Future
I was once being stuck in my past and gave the power to define my future. In result, I felt empty and worn out. Old thoughts and patterns keep coming back like a boomerang. No matter how I tried to throw it away, it keeps returning tirelessly. The demons that overstayed inside me, such as negative emotions, deep-seated anxiety, and beliefs seemingly having a party each day while my physical body and mind are gradually waning.
Being diagnosed with cancer is one of the past traumatic events happened in my life, but before my diagnosis, there are more traumatic events that happened where I am going to talk about in the world of Internet for the very first time.
Never could I imagine having the audacity to blurt this out from my past, but this time, I wanted to let the readers understand how I am determined to create a future without being defined by my past. Simply because I had miserable experiences before I have no way I can redirect my future.
So let me get this short and to the point:
- I lost my custody of my 2 children and lost the connection with them for already 4 years until now.
- Yes, I was once married and unfortunately, the relationship didn’t work out well and so the dilemma begins.
- I was a victim of “cybercrime” where my nude photos sent to a person who I once married purposely leaked throughout the social media. Was I able to get the justice I deserved? No. And like others, instead of dwelling on one specific traumatic experience in life, we don’t have any choice but to move on and forget. I forgave myself first and the person or persons who did that to me.
Cybercrime, speaking of which – I must agree that in this modern digital world you always need to be mindful and vigilant but you can never be certain. You can never be certain because sometimes you don’t know who you can and cannot trust.
As we move on getting to know a little bit more about me and sharing my story with you, I want us to focus how I shift my mindset into more positive things despite these traumatic experiences I faced including cancer.
That’s what I did, little by little, I focus on the positive things right after I decided to leave and forget all the traumatic experiences I was once faced with. I don’t find it helpful in my life, health, and mind. So, I made a choice! And I chose to steer the wheel the other way, turned my life upside down and lead myself into more positive and brighter days ahead!
I had rare cancer 2 years ago, and this was the most tough and significant challenge in my life that taught me many things and made my life upside-down. I was tested many times even before cancer happened and each time trial happens, I always refuse to claim it.
During the time I was told that I have cancer, I didn’t want to believe and I refused to consider the truth. I avoided the truth but the pain that I felt in my body told me that I really have cancer!
It takes time for me to process the truth, until one day, I decided to be kind to myself and claim the fact that I have cancer. Face it and you must win the battle!
Giving ourselves permission to be kind to ourselves is the most selfless thing we can offer.
Accepting my cancer and sharing to few people who are close to me was in fact a great relief to me because I did not let my body suffer more as I finally release my thoughts and feelings that I tried to keep myself.
MY HEALING JOURNEY
The healing journey was not an easy road to walk along. The process of my treatment, from surgical removal to therapy sessions underwent more difficulties in between and even after the whole treatment process.
After the treatment process, I was even more anxious and I became depressed. The post-traumatic stress sank in. It means, 5 months of nightmares, avoiding friends, sleepless nights, irritability and unwanted thoughts. Until I made a decision to face the world again and stop hiding. In the middle of 5 months battling again post-traumatic stress, I gradually get back in a condition where I have inner peace, calm, and I am untriggered. I did this of course with the help of giving whatever my body enjoyed having, such as relaxing, massage, traveling, being with family and good friends and practicing guided imagery (prayer or meditation).
After all, I always have to realize that all the challenges I went through are just a test that I must go with. Without these, it won’t change me. It won’t lead me to who I want to be and how I want to feel.
Not all cancer is the same. Not everyone dies right away from cancer. But the experience with cancer is detrimental as if you want to die soon than feeling the pain every day.
The fight against the many pains – physical, mental and emotional is a personal battle the most people don’t understand. Yet, the willingness to withstand the pain is as strong as the pain I felt during those times, and that is a struggle the no one can do for me except myself.
INTENTIONAL ADVOCATE & BLOGGER
Making a decision to be an advocate to continue the campaign on health awareness is not enough. I started to commit myself by starting a blog and share my healing journey to my fellow cancer survivors, their families as well as my friends and acquaintances around me.
It’s not always an easy road, yet it is a very worthwhile one. And I had never thought of giving up. Standing up for others is the most worthwhile decision I had ever made. I will keep doing this relentlessly without allowing my past judging what I can do now, and what I can do more in the future.
This is my truth and my real. I am truly honored to inspire any of you as I share my truth. More than anything, I feel totally free! I feel released. And I’m confident that I’m on the right path.
Connect With Cielo
Her Blog thecancervoice.net